Monday, July 28, 2008

Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

There is no way I would have known I would enjoy turning the big 30. Watching the movie "13 going on 30" also known as "Suddenly 30" in Australia (among many other title versions worldwide as I've come to discover) a few years ago made me think about my pending exit from my twenties. It was kinda cool to watch a film promoting the age as an era to look forward to rather than think it's when you become a nobody-can-relate-to and the only hipness occurring in one's life is the reading of a celeb mag while waiting in the super market line.

My birthday has made me way more calmer and centered than I expected. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't the beacon of clarity a few weeks ago. I was a mess, thinking about
what have I "achieved" in my life and whether or not I was happy with that etc. Yes, I know there are more important things in life, besides me and my I'm-not-a-blazing-success-like-I-thought-I'd-be crisis, like starving children and people dying, but your mind can have so much power over you if you let it.

So in keeping with the "13 going on 30" Hollywood cheese factor theme, I thought it only appropriate to share my own life lessons and more importantly, interesting (well for me anyway) to document:

All you need is time
This is definitely my number one lesson learned and the thing that really stands out to me. I remember being a know-it-all teenager thinking I was very mature for my age and had many unrealistic ideals about the world and what I expected from it. Young people are exposed to so much now because of the internet and such. I am from an internet free childhood and teenagehood. The things that kids know today, there is no way I knew about back then. But I can totally see this on a level where my parents were from another country and I knew so much they weren't exposed to either. Despite this, I still firmly believe that there are things in life, you cannot learn from environment, or knowledge and that only time can teach. This sounds so simplistic, but I really feel it now more than ever and it has actually made me more excited for my years of learning to come.

Beauty is from within
Sometimes, it is so damn hard being a woman. There is so much overt super female rubbish being shoved in our continuously monitored faces that it is hard to see how much from within really counts. You cannot escape the fact that someone may be a size zero but be completely depressed and still agonizing over their size. Personally I feel the people who are the most beautiful, thus emanating the most magnetism, are the ones who are comfortable in their own skin.
Because they are comfortable, they also tend to look pass the superficial and draw great people into their lives as well as be the last ones to criticize others. From as far as I can remember, I still don't really comprehend how someone can hate someone else because they are jealous of them. I think this is a toxic form of self- hatred and needs to be re-evaluated immediately to save you from ongoing bad energy and also everyone hating you out right, if not secretly.

Most people mean well, but there are some crazies just under the psycho ward radar
It's so easy to get peeved at people who you think are in the wrong. It's also easy to keep thinking and discussing in detail how wrong that person was and pretty soon, it's all you're thinking about and it affects your work, the people around you and even your health. There is no possible way you can ever see life through the eyes of someone else. Those eyes will contain experiences you can never feel, so there will always be tendencies to react differently. If you think it's bizarre that fully grown adults can behave so immaturely, a thought to consider is that no matter how much someone has gone through, it's not until they are ready to see something that they will be able to see it. My biggest challenge to date is letting go and moving on. I'm getting better though.

The world has enough assholes, you don't have to add on to that
We can keep going on about this till the cows come home, but I can't go passed this paragraph without mentioning my pet hates: Power trippers, judgmental people and people who like to insult others in a form of a joke. I once read somewhere that people who cruelly poke fun at people were once hurt by alienation and that is their way of reasserting they belong to a group. So basically they were those dorks you picked on and now they are out for revenge. Admittedly, I am no angel, and have been known to have a good bitch sesh, every now and then, but it's not something I do on a regular basis and I always feel bad for doing so. This is another work in progress for me, but I truly despise it when people just keep going on and taking it to the next level. An antidote I have prescribed myself is to always focus on the qualities about people you love and totally ignore the stuff that doesn't go down too well.

Friends and family are crucial
This one is a no brainer but because of my relocation to another country, this has never been more important to me. We now have Facebook, Myspace and Webcam to
assist us with our social communities but I truly believe good family relations and good friends go beyond these realms. It's one thing to associate yourself with people who you think are cool or good looking, but at the end of the day will these people be adding any substance to your life? Will they be there for you? Better to have a small amount of quality friends rather than a large amount of
strangers so you can be the next IT girl, because IT doesn't last that long. And of course, your family will always love you and if not (should they be toxic and dysfunctional), close friends are a form of family too. What I've learned up until today is we all need people who care, so we should value and respect them to no end.

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